Cross-Gender Communication as a Form free essay sample

Good communication skills are hard to achieve; communication gaps are the biggest problem in misunderstanding the message. Good and effective communication can therefore be affected by many things including the situation, time, culture, and gender. Gender differences in communication may pose problems in interpersonal interactions leading to intolerance, resentment, stress and decreased productivity (Reman 1). So, the assertion that women and men communicate differently is mostly created by socio-cultural environment and behavior.These differences can be seen through the way we raise our children from the earliest age, through verbal and non-verbal communication styles they develop later as adults, and finally it can be seen through the numbers of conducted studies that confirm that differences do exist. From the youngest age of our lives the gender differences start to appear in the way we are taught to communicate. Therefore, we learn appropriate behaviors and roles from the members of same sex, and we learn the consequences for disobedience from the same models as well. Peter Harley presents in his book Interpersonal Communication the idea that show us how gender differences in communication can develop. The study started with the observation of boys and girls spend their time in play in a single sex groups. The study findings show that girls will cooperate and share power, while the boys group is a hierarchy where issues of status and identity are more prominent (198). The way how we raise our kids has the biggest influence in gender differences development.The girls are taught not to sound too aggressive, so they need to lessen what they say. In contrary, desirable behaviors for boys are to speak out loud their mind, not to be shy, not to cry, and to be independent. These different approaches in child rising have crucial influence for the way they will develop a sense of self later in life. According to John Gray: For men this sense of self is defined: through his ability to achieve results. For women this sense of self is defined: through her feelings and the quality of her relationships(qtd. n Hartley 199). In addition, the adult male and female verbal and nonverbal communication can be defined as intercultural communication (B. M. Mulvaney 4). Richard Porter and Larry Samovar define the intercultural communication as whenever a message produces is a member of one culture and a message receiver is a member of another(qtd. in B. M. Mulvaney 3). Non verbal communication is an area where the gender differences are seen as well. According to the Mehrabian Nonverbal communication refers to those actions that are distinct from speech.Thus nonverbal communication includes facial expression, hand and arm movement, posture, position and other movements of the body, legs or feet (qtd. in Reiman 4). In nonverbal communications women are more likely to show empathy, they listen with nodding, they smile and come closer to the speaker. Women use more fluid movement and are most likely to sit close to each other which help them to connect with one another. On the other hand, men in nonverbal communication use more sharp movements; they sit side by side and have wider posture (Reinman 4).Differences in verbal communication refer to word choice, voice patterns and speaker interruption. Women use less vulgar words, use different patterns of intonation, they are more likely to be kind and polite; women use more tags as well. Unlike women, men are more aggressive in communication, and they interrupt way more than woman. †¦men were responsible for 96 per cent of interruptions in conversation between men and women (Hartley 188). Men focus on status and independence; women focus on intimacy and connection – a difference that makes communication between the sexes problematic (Aires 3). All this gender differences that are shown above lead us to stereotypical thinking about gender roles and how we ought to behave to be acceptable members of our gender; however, stereotypical thinking deepens the differences even more. Besides the social behavior, a serious numbers of conducted studies have shown that these differences do exist on the empirical base. Medical studies have shown differences in brain anatomy of males and females. Women have more gray matter in the left language hemisphere of the brain.This study results can explain the difference of male/female behavior and different verbal skills. According to Guatier et al (2009) †¦researchers in France have found differences amongst males and females groups on brain activation strength linked to verbal fluency (qtd. in Reiman 7). Further, Ana Campbell (1989) has found that the brain region involved in verbal ability has greater symmetry in females. Campbell concluded that because of greater symmetry female brain is better organized for communication.This is why women use more words and speak expressively than man (Reiman 7). Even though, all this studies and cultural background teach us to believe in the difference of gender communication, there is no common rule that can be applied in everyday communication. The biggest true in male/female communication is that our responses should not be stereotypical based; instead, we should observe both genders in every single interaction considering race, culture and origin as well.Works Cited Aires, Elizabeth. Men and Woman in interaction: Reconsidering the differences. Oxford University Press, 1996. P3. Print Hartle,Peter. Interpersonal Communication. Florence, KY, USA: Routledge, 1999. P188,198,199. Print Mulvaney, B. Michele. Gender Differences in Communication: An Intercultural Experience. Departement of Communication Florida Atlantic University. n. d. Web. Reinman, Tonya. Gender Differences in communication. n. d. Web. Bodylanguage. com